Life Inspiration

Things to Remember When Comparison Gets You Down

Comparison is hard. Trust me, I know how it feels. It’s a never-ending spiral of envy, doubt, and discouragement.

As a blogger, it’s hard to look past the numbers, the followers, the likes. To remember that they don’t matter. That popularity isn’t what counts.

I’ve struggled with it a lot in the past and I know I’m not the only one. . . but sometimes it feels like it.

When I see people with grand opportunities, beautiful books, exotic vacations, the things I can never imagine having or doing . . . I can’t help feeling dejected.

The comparison game is a major issue in our society today, especially with teenage girls.

It leaves us feeling inadequate compared to the other influencers out there. But we don’t have to let comparison control us. There are ways we can effectively steer clear of comparison and live free and meaningful lives!

Numbers Don’t Count

This is something that–no matter how cliche–needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Numbers don’t count. The followers, the friends, the likes, all of it doesn’t define who we are. Marie explains the truth about statistics marvelously in her post.

One of the most important things we need to accept is this: there’s always going be to someone with bigger numbers than us. Maybe they have better graphics, larger followings, more clothes. . . but none of it matters. We’re all on our own paths. It doesn’t matter if they hit a milestone sooner than you do. The time it takes to reach a destination does not lessen the purpose of the journey. Or the beauty of the reward.

You’re Not Seeing The Whole Picture

I guarantee that the people you admire struggle as much as you do. Comparison affects them the way it affects you–possibly even more. There is so much that occurs offline that people don’t talk about online. So don’t be fooled by highlight reels.

We all pass through mountains and valleys. We’re all human.

Your Presence Matters

You belong in this world. There’s a reason you’re here. You have something they don’t. You have a voice. It’s unique, and no one–no matter how hard they try–can imitate it.

“I hope that one day, you are able to look back and be so glad that your story did not look exactly like theirs. I hope you are able to be equally excited for where you are as you are for them.”

~Morgan Harper Nichols~

Define Your Success

Our world likes to measure success by followers, website growth, wealth, and other materialistic things. . . But in all honesty, the definition of success is entirely up to you. For me, it may be cheering up a friend. Or posting a blog post I enjoyed writing.

Celebrate the small wins.

Unplug

Social media feeds on comparison. With its stream of “perfect” pictures, it sources our feelings of inadequacy.

We all need a break from its consistent activity. Whether that be for a week, a month, a year. . . or ditching it entirely, as I did. There are A LOT more productive uses of our time than scrolling social media.

The Why

Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. Is it to gain approval? To satisfy your craving for attention? To prove something? If these are the reasons, you may need to take some time to reevaluate.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

God created you to be you; not them. His love and approval are all that really matter, and he gave it to you on the cross. You are enough, you are loved, and you have nothing to prove.

Do you struggle with comparison? Were these tips helpful? What do you do when you catch yourself comparing?

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20 Comments

  • Reply Evangeline

    My favorite blog! I actually found some things that I haven’t thought of before like not seeing the full picture!

    July 19, 2020 at 3:54 pm
  • Reply Ryan Elizabeth

    Love this post so much!! <3

    July 18, 2020 at 5:43 pm
  • Reply Grandma

    Thanks Abbi! Great post. I believe women young and mature are affected the most.

    July 6, 2020 at 10:17 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Thank you! ❤

      July 8, 2020 at 1:52 am
  • Reply Aunt Dana

    Beautiful words Abby! So much relevance and wise beyond your years! Love you!
    Aunt Dana

    July 6, 2020 at 2:17 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Aww, thank you, Aunt Dana! ❤ How kind of you. (:

      July 8, 2020 at 1:53 am
  • Reply Jesse Rinkenberger

    Great blog Abbi! Such an important topic for all of us no matter our age. The comparison game can be a real killer. We’re either puffed up or beaten down. Christ embraces me on my best and worst days…amazing! Great points and reminders here for me, very convicting, and helpful.

    July 6, 2020 at 5:48 am
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Amen! ❤

      July 8, 2020 at 1:54 am
  • Reply Kenneth Rinkenberger

    Like these well thought out ideas on comparison. Hope I can put them into practice,
    Grandpa Rink

    July 5, 2020 at 11:00 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Thank you, Grandpa! I’m glad it was helpful. (:

      July 6, 2020 at 2:36 am
  • Reply Breanne

    Abbi, I needed to hear this. I’ve struggled with feeling better than others, and feeling less than others when it comes to stats and blogs. The point you made about not having anything to prove was really relevant. I constantly feel like I have something to prove. And this part was really really good: The time it takes to reach a destination does not lessen the purpose of the journey. Or the beauty of the reward.

    Thanks Abbi. Keep on writing from your heart <3

    July 5, 2020 at 7:03 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Aww, this comment melted my heart. ❤ I’m so happy it resonated with you! I have similar feelings regarding comparison, and I have to keep remembering ^these things every day. You are not alone, Breanne. (: Keep shining your light!

      July 6, 2020 at 2:42 am
  • Reply Robin Hood

    Great post Abbi! When the comparison game gets me down I like to remember that it doesnt matter how good we think we are or how much we strive to be perfect because as a sinner- compared to Jesus – we will never be good enough. And the only answer to that comparison is turning to the cross, and accepting Christ’s perfection and forgiveness. When we’ve done that, the comparison game doesnt matter because we know we are forgiven and loved and cherished by our Savior.

    July 5, 2020 at 1:03 am
    • Reply abigailblessing

      AMEN! Wise words from a wise person. (: Thank you for your beautiful insight!

      July 5, 2020 at 4:44 am
  • Reply Emily

    “The definition of success is up to you.” What a freeing thought!

    July 4, 2020 at 9:34 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      Thank you, Emily! It is! YOU define success. (;

      July 5, 2020 at 4:45 am
  • Reply Rachel Alexandria

    This is spot-on; I struggle with it every day. I don’t know why comparison is such a big thing (for girls especially) but it is!! Thank you for the encouragement, Abigail! <3

    July 4, 2020 at 2:09 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      It does seem to affect girls a great deal more than guys. . . but holding onto the truth is the only way we can make it through! Aww, thank you for reading, Rachel! ❤

      July 5, 2020 at 4:46 am
  • Reply Aunt Judy

    I enjoyed this post very much as I could relate to it. I think one thing about reaching the so-called golden years is that the beauty of indifference kicks in. At this point in your life you really are not concerned about what other people are doing or not doing. Maybe it’s just because you’re tired and don’t care anymore. One thing did stick out In your post and that’s when you said things that you could not imagine having or doing but if they are worthy things that you do want and you start to imagine having them they often materialize.

    July 4, 2020 at 1:30 pm
    • Reply abigailblessing

      I’m so glad it resonated with you! Yes, that is a perk of growing older. (: Thank you for reading!

      July 6, 2020 at 2:43 am

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